Boys and Chores

Who says I need daughters to help me around the house? For some months now, my boys have been wonderful in helping me out at home. This pregnancy has given me the push to insist on the boys helping me out at home. I had to stop making excuses for them and I have found "jobs" for them that I would have wanted to do on my own, just because it would have been faster.

David (my almost 7 yr old), is fantastic at setting the table and stacking the dishwasher with me. He has also, on a few occasions, surprised me by setting up for breakfast in the morning, bringing out the bread, butter, jam, milk, cups and plates!

James (my almost 9 yr old), clears the table after meals, unpacks the dishwasher with me and also sweeps up with a hand held broom and dustpan what I sweep up with my tall broom, so that I don't have to bend down. He also volunteers to stay back with me until I finish cleaning up the kitchen at night. I don't know why but it's much nicer to have someone with me until I finish than doing the same thing on my own. Perhaps, it's because I don't feel resentful that everyone's "done" already and I'm still going (despite all my pregnancy aches and pains).

Adam (my almost 3 yr old), is so thoughtful that he often gets the small broom and dustpan from under the sink as soon as he sees me with the tall broom. He says, "I don't want you to bend down, mum". In fact, 3 days ago, we left the house in a hurry after I swept aside the remnants of our breakfast. When we got back, we had lunch and after that, I suddenly realised that someone had picked up what I had swept aside earlier that day. I said, "Did you sweep up the dirt here, James?" To which, Adam answered, "No, I did it, mum." I was so proud of my little boy. I didn't even have to ask him! He has also run to the condiments cabinet a few times to get the sauces out whenever someone voices the need for some sauce. He says, "I'll get it, so you don't have to bend down".

Another thing I have found they're good at is in putting away their clean clothes. All I have to do is tell them where their stack is and they put away everything in their wardrobes. They're getting better at keeping their rooms clean. James and David also take turns in giving Adam a shower every evening. Actually, I've even heard them fight over this chore. Once, I caught David saying, "James, let me shower Adam! Anyway, you don't even like washing his bum." Yes, David does this bit without flinching whereas it has taken James a while to do this!

So many people wish for us to have a daughter. A lot of them say that I need to have one so at least, I'll have someone to help me at home. Well, my three boys are a big help already. Maybe, it's because they see their dad doing chores at home, too. Or maybe because out of necessity, I've had to rely on them more and more, and have been "forced" into training them and trusting in their capabilities. One thing is for sure, boys can do chores!

Acceptance is a Blessing

I am now 5 days past my due date to have baby number 4. For some reason, I was convinced that I was going to have this baby earlier than normal. I don't know what gave me that idea. James was 10 days overdue. David was pretty much on time - just a day overdue. Adam was 8 days past due date. Maybe, it was just wishful thinking. It felt like I was doing more than ever. I was in a lot of pain from sciatic nerve pain almost as soon as the nausea went at 23 weeks and even got varicose veins around 30 weeks!

Of course, I still prayed for a full-term baby, but that meant any time from 37 weeks - that's 3 weeks before due date. I have been ready with baby clothes washed, cot & change table set up and my hospital bag packed for 4 weeks now. I have organised the baptism, the boys' birthday party (all born in May), even the email announcing the birth of the baby that Von just had to send after filling in the missing details! Admittedly, Von and I have just agreed on the name (if a boy) last week, but the girl's name has been picked weeks ago.

So, imagine my frustration when 2 weeks ago (at 38wks + 3) I went into false labour - for a whole day! Then again, 1 week after that! I have had at least 2-3 calls/texts/emails on a daily basis asking if I've had the baby! People who see me ask "You haven't had the baby yet?" A few times when I've been cranky, I've been tempted to say, "Obviously!" while pointing at my bulge. Some even ask why I haven't had the baby yet. Oh, if only I knew! So many others have given me tips on how to encourage the labour to start. Well meaning people...excited family and friends, but I was so frustrated that the baby hasn't arrived when I wanted it to, that I could not see past myself, my fatigue, my nausea that has returned, and my whole body that seemed to ache no matter what position I'm in.

Then, it dawned on me! I was just going to accept that God will bestow upon us this gift of life, this little miracle, when He deems best. Who am I to ask for the baby to come in MY schedule. I have been praying for a healthy baby - I've told most people that boy or girl, we'd be happy, as long as the baby is healthy. I was hoping to have the baby before school holidays so that I can spend the first week or so with just the baby, Von and I at home during the day. Well, school holidays officially started 2 days ago. Maybe, God thinks it will work out better this way. Then, there are the Easter celebrations. We managed to attend Holy Thursday mass, Stations of the Cross and last night, Easter Vigil! So, perhaps, it was God's will that we were still able to attend the ceremonies without the complications of a baby in tow.

The amazing thing is with this attitude of acceptance, I've been able to appreciate the motives of the people asking me if I've had the baby. I realised how privileged I am that people are actually thinking about me, are excited for my family and can be bothered to spend time and effort to see how I am going! We are so blessed indeed!

So, to anyone who I may have been snappy with, I'm really sorry. And I am really thankful to all those who have kept us in their prayers and thoughts all this time. Induction is due on the 9th of April...not long to go now. Anything before that is a bonus!