Acceptance is a Blessing

I am now 5 days past my due date to have baby number 4. For some reason, I was convinced that I was going to have this baby earlier than normal. I don't know what gave me that idea. James was 10 days overdue. David was pretty much on time - just a day overdue. Adam was 8 days past due date. Maybe, it was just wishful thinking. It felt like I was doing more than ever. I was in a lot of pain from sciatic nerve pain almost as soon as the nausea went at 23 weeks and even got varicose veins around 30 weeks!

Of course, I still prayed for a full-term baby, but that meant any time from 37 weeks - that's 3 weeks before due date. I have been ready with baby clothes washed, cot & change table set up and my hospital bag packed for 4 weeks now. I have organised the baptism, the boys' birthday party (all born in May), even the email announcing the birth of the baby that Von just had to send after filling in the missing details! Admittedly, Von and I have just agreed on the name (if a boy) last week, but the girl's name has been picked weeks ago.

So, imagine my frustration when 2 weeks ago (at 38wks + 3) I went into false labour - for a whole day! Then again, 1 week after that! I have had at least 2-3 calls/texts/emails on a daily basis asking if I've had the baby! People who see me ask "You haven't had the baby yet?" A few times when I've been cranky, I've been tempted to say, "Obviously!" while pointing at my bulge. Some even ask why I haven't had the baby yet. Oh, if only I knew! So many others have given me tips on how to encourage the labour to start. Well meaning people...excited family and friends, but I was so frustrated that the baby hasn't arrived when I wanted it to, that I could not see past myself, my fatigue, my nausea that has returned, and my whole body that seemed to ache no matter what position I'm in.

Then, it dawned on me! I was just going to accept that God will bestow upon us this gift of life, this little miracle, when He deems best. Who am I to ask for the baby to come in MY schedule. I have been praying for a healthy baby - I've told most people that boy or girl, we'd be happy, as long as the baby is healthy. I was hoping to have the baby before school holidays so that I can spend the first week or so with just the baby, Von and I at home during the day. Well, school holidays officially started 2 days ago. Maybe, God thinks it will work out better this way. Then, there are the Easter celebrations. We managed to attend Holy Thursday mass, Stations of the Cross and last night, Easter Vigil! So, perhaps, it was God's will that we were still able to attend the ceremonies without the complications of a baby in tow.

The amazing thing is with this attitude of acceptance, I've been able to appreciate the motives of the people asking me if I've had the baby. I realised how privileged I am that people are actually thinking about me, are excited for my family and can be bothered to spend time and effort to see how I am going! We are so blessed indeed!

So, to anyone who I may have been snappy with, I'm really sorry. And I am really thankful to all those who have kept us in their prayers and thoughts all this time. Induction is due on the 9th of April...not long to go now. Anything before that is a bonus!